Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I looked at my own cervix.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.