Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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