Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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