wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day