I just made out with a guy for $7.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
This is evicking siegelnvs
This is fucking ridiculous*
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I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
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I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.