Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!

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  (843): Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes! http://tfl.nu/yo6w
  Replies (9) Good night (578) Bad night (2849)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him

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  (407): he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him http://tfl.nu/igzq
  Replies (36) Good night (910) Bad night (6038)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.

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  (330): nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks. http://tfl.nu/s7xn
  Replies (5) Good night (2989) Bad night (1009)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed

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  (219): I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed http://tfl.nu/t98c
  Replies (2) Good night (1943) Bad night (877)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.

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  (336): Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things. http://tfl.nu/s0f9
  Replies (23) Good night (4075) Bad night (1106)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u

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  (401): Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u http://tfl.nu/jall
  Replies (21) Good night (4230) Bad night (1040)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?

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  (914): Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case? http://tfl.nu/y5jw
  Replies (8) Good night (2135) Bad night (950)
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  (707): View more from California

  They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.

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  (707): They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR. (705): I NEED to see if his girl has a sister. http://tfl.nu/ou19
  Replies (9) Good night (2857) Bad night (825)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.

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  (931): I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that. http://tfl.nu/d355
  Replies (6) Good night (1030) Bad night (1515)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.

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  (210): IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND. http://tfl.nu/ke4c
  Replies (21) Good night (2178) Bad night (570)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.

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  (208): Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that. http://tfl.nu/xdn8
  Replies (3) Good night (1664) Bad night (831)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.

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  (907): Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor. http://tfl.nu/kb13
  Replies (5) Good night (685) Bad night (517)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!

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  (604): I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits! http://tfl.nu/vxu6
  Replies (5) Good night (1161) Bad night (399)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.

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  (226): I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off. http://tfl.nu/fkr9
  Replies (2) Good night (415) Bad night (983)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...

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  (617): A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain... http://tfl.nu/gy86
  Replies (4) Good night (1173) Bad night (481)

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