i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
