He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
