dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
