sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
