bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
