Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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