Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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