Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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