Me too!
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
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I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
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I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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