Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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