All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
