just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
