Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
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He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
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You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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