im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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