What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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