rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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