He disabled his match.com account in front of me
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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