Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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