Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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