Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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