I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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