i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
