i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
