I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
