dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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