i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
