we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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