We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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