Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
