The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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