i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
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Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
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Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
please don't ironically join a cult
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