Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
