Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
