forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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