one two three fourrrrnication!
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
