well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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