There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
