Sry I called you an 8
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
