It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
MIDGETS
????
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
