i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
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The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
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But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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