fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
They should really pass out barf bags in church
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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