spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
