She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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