My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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