I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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