I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
