Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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