No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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