My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
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I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
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ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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