If that was your dad, he is hot
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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