I got chris browned last night
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
3pm strippers are depressing
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
