Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
