He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
