i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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