i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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