My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
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What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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