You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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