So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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