Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Randomize
