Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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