Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
