you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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