just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I cut my penus on the lid.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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