I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
