You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
